Multiple Chemical Sensitivity

None us really lives alone. Yes, we may at the end of the day go to a living space that has no other people in it but each of us has to deal with our fellow humans on a daily basis; most of us go to work, we travel on roads and/or sidewalks with other people, we buy our food from someone at a store, the clothing we wear was made by someone else. For a moment think about the computer you are reading this article on. You, a friend or a delivery service had to go to a store and pick it up. The screen, the keyboard, the computer memory, and several different parts of each were all made in different factories; often in different parts of the world. Tens of thousand of people contributed to the manufacture of this computer all the way from the people who drilled the petroleum that the plastic was made from to the person who maintained the coffee pot at the plastics plant where the petroleum was delivered to. Even if we lived in a log cabin in the woods, grew our own food and spun our own wool; we still would have had to buy the ax that we used to chop down the trees to make the cabin.

Interacting with other people is an inevitable aspect of being human. Perhaps, in a basic way, MCS is a disease of this interaction. Someone made the chemicals that trigger MCS in us; someone purchased those chemicals thus giving the manufacturer the economic incentive to make them; once manufactured and purchased someone brought those substances into our immediate surroundings. At times it is fun to think about having perfect control over our environment; the ability to arrange things in such a way as to never come into contact with any MCS triggers. But even if we had a substantial fortune at our disposal it is very unlikely we could plan for every eventuality. Eventually one of the other people we have to come into contact with would bring a MCS trigger into our lives.

Like it or not we all have to deal with other people and these other people will bring Multiple Chemical Sensitivity triggers our way from time to time. So if MCS is in a way a disease of interacting with the rest of the human world then perhaps then one of the real questions becomes: How do we talk to other people about MCS when appropriate? How can we ask for what we need in such a way as to maximize the chances of getting the desired results?

You may have heard quoted the Albert Mehrabian study on human communication that suggests that when two or more people talk; 55% of the communication is non-verbal (body language and facial expression), 38% of the communication is vocal tone, and that only 7% is the actual information communicated in the words spoken. What does all of this mean? It means that when we talk to another person what we are saying is not nearly as important as how we are saying it. This means that body language and facial expression when combined with voice tonality are more important then the information content of the interaction by a ratio of approximately 14 to 1.

If you are wondering what this might mean in a more concrete sense think about your pet (or a friend’s pet). Do we speak the same language as that pet? Of course not. Do we still have communication with that animal? Of course. They let us know when they want attention, when they are hungry or even at times when they are sad. We know this by their body language and the tone of their ‘voice’ (bark, meow, etc...). They also often know what we want. A dog knows when to get into the car or when it is time to go for a walk. Even many cats know when you are sick or grieving. If you use an angry voice or a soothing voice your pet knows the difference and will act accordingly. You and the pet both know the needs of the other, but in all of this there has been no exchange of ‘words’ as we traditionally think about them.

The Albert Mehrabian study suggests that when we talk to other people that the vast majority of the communication is done in the same way as when we communicate with a pet, in an overwhelmingly non-verbal way. So, when we are talking to others about MCS it is extremely important to be aware of not only what we are saying, but also to what we are putting forth in ways other then our words. When communicating our needs around MCS (or even just talking to another person about our experience with MCS) HOW we act and sound is much more important then WHAT we are saying. This means that what you are saying will be much more likely to be accepted or rejected based on other factors then the content of your sentences.

What is being communicated by the non-verbal? Emotion, or more precisely the emotion you are having at the time of the interaction. Take a moment and think back to a time when someone who was experiencing strong emotion made a request to you. Were you more receptive when they were expressing: anger, fear or shame? Or were you more receptive and willing to help with their request when they were feeling: happiness, confidence or love? When we talk about MCS people will take their cues on how to react from the emotion you are having when talking about it; the emotion that is coming through in your non-verbal communication.

Take a quick moment think again about someone making a request to you. Again think about different emotional states the person making he request can have. How do you receive the non-verbal information that is being telegraphed by the other person? You will see their facial expression, you will see how they are holding their body, and you will hear the tone in their voice. What is important is that this emotional information will be received by you as a FEELING; you will experience it as an emotional reaction. If it is a negative emotion you will feel a negative, less receptive reaction. If it a positive emotion you will feel a positive, more receptive reaction. Others feel OUR emotional state when we are talking. What we are saying will be received or rejected based on OUR emotional state!

Talking about MCS can be scary, especially at first. We simply don’t have control over every reaction another person might have but one thing we do have control over (well, mostly have control over) is our own emotional state. We can maximize the chances that what we are trying to say will be received as long as we are in the most positive emotional state we can at that moment. Talking while we are full of anger or fear will never be as effective as talking with compassion and joy.

Although the emotional state we are in when we talk to others is the most important aspect of the interaction, the Words we are using while talking is still the reason we are actually having the conversation. Most people have not heard of MCS and let’s face it, most people are not interested in a 10-20 min education on the matter. There are some short cuts that can prove very effective such as using terms people already understand. Talk about being ‘allergic’ to something or discuss how you have some ‘sensitivities’ that have been triggered by some change to your environment. These (and others like them) are words and ideas other people already understand. Many people are not readily open to having a paradigm shift when talking to us at any given moment; so talk in a way that works within that person’s existing world view. Talking to other people ‘where they are at’ and not necessarily ‘where we are at’ can prove very powerful tool.

There is one last item to keep in mind with trying to get a Multiple Chemical Sensitivity related point across to other people. This is a concept known as dominance. This does not mean domineering, demanding, or in any way abusive; rather it relates to the relative status between people. In just about any group of people there tends to be a social hierarchy. If we work in an office then this is pretty easy to see, the CEO is in charge, middle management tells the managers what to do and the managers tell their respective departments what to do. We usually know where we stand in this social structure and others know where we stand. Take a moment and think about your group of friends, there is usually one person who is the social hub that the group forms around and this person is generally regarded as the leader. That person is the most dominate; they have respect for their ability to bring people together and get things done. Although in some areas of our lives we know where we are at in a social structure this is not the case in a lot of our interactions. The more dominate we are, the more likely what we are saying will be given credence. If we can come across as dominate then it is more likely that any request we make will be accepted and acted upon.

How do we express dominance? Again, this is done by non-verbal communication. In a study headed by Michael Argyle, video tapes were used to analyze the communication of submissive/dominant attitude and found that non-verbal cues had 4.3 times the effect of verbal cues. This means that over 75 percent of what people judge relative status on is non-verbal communication. What is seen as dominate non-verbal communication? Such items as relaxed, confidante body posture, strong eye contact, and lack of fidgeting. If you are wondering exactly what this looks like go watch an old WWII movie and see how the Army General behaves relative to his subordinates. When talking about MCS be relaxed, stand tall, and look your person in the eye. What you are saying will be taken much more seriously if they can take YOU more seriously.

Don’t get me wrong; all of this is often more easily said then done, especially at first and especially when in the thralls of an MCS reaction. I would suggest practicing what has been talked about when discussing non MCS topics. Practice on individuals at support groups, at a friend’s dinner party or even people on the bus. If you practice when it doesn’t really matter, it will be second nature when it actually does matter.

Talking to other people about MCS is an integral part of learning to Thrive with MCS. Whether we like it or not, other people will always be there, along with the MCS triggers they sometimes bring. If we can effectively learn how to communicate our needs and maybe even get others on board with them, then perhaps we can begin to have more control over our environment. With more people on board with our needs we will feel better; our surroundings will simply possess fewer MCS triggers. In the end if we learn how to talk to others about MCS then our journey toward Thriving will be that much farther along.

Zen Master Sam

P.S.

There is perhaps one last item to contemplate here… What happens if we do everything we can and that person is still unwilling to hear what we are trying to get across? That is assuming we have actually done what we can and perhaps tried more then once. Then we still have one very empowering choice we can make, the choice to remove ourselves from that person if at all possible. It is conceivable that no one person nor any one circumstance is worth living with a consistent Multiple Chemical Sensitivity reaction. I’m certainly not saying such an adjustment would be easy but it may prove worthwhile in the long run. Most of us know what a life with a consistent MCS reaction is like: What are you willing to change to have a chance at living a better way?

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