The process of clearing out the old and unneeded from my past and my mind thus making way for the new was working well.  A little over a year without a drink I encountered a friend of mine who told me her tale of seemingly miraculous recovery from cancer.  A large part of her getting better was releasing old emotions that had long since gummed up the energies of her life.  As she told me of the process of letting go I was intrigued.  I wanted the healing she had experienced.  I was experiencing each day that letting go of the past was working.  It was time to take it to the next level.

 

My friend told me that a year before then her doctors had found a small tumor in the forward sections of her brain.  It was located in such a spot that it could not be operated on without a huge risk of losing much of who she was as a person.  Chemotherapy held many of the same risks as surgery.   There were some drugs that had a good chance of slowing or stopping the tumor but the overall chances of recovery were very slim.  Against all odds the cancer had disappeared.  It was gone from her brain as if it had never happened.  The largest factor she had attributed her unlikely recovery too was a very intensive process of emotional release.  A collage acquaintance of hers had just gotten out of a course to become a councilor.  The focus of her studies was on emotional release. 

 

Old, unresolved emotions can stay with us for a lifetime if they are not dealt with.  They act like a deep cut that never fully heals.  Even if the skin heals but the tissue underneath does not, these unhealed wounds can cause us to hold back or favor those areas.  We can not live up to our full potential if we have unhealed wounds.  The reason most of us do not take care of these wounds is that it hurts to look at them.  To truly deal with the wound and let it heal we will need to go through the painful process of reopening the wound, cleaning it out and letting it heal.  It’s much easier in the short term to just forget about them and pretend they are not there.   Many of us even feel that these wounds define us.  Our ego tells us that we would disappear along with our pain if they were to heal.  Letting these wounds just be is a great strategy for short term survival, but it is a sure fire way to keep you stuck and prevent long term thriving.

 

My friend dove into this process of uncovering, cleaning and healing old emotional wounds as if her life depended on it, and in her case if most likely did.  She talked, she read, she screamed into pillows, she hit punching bags, she cried and some times it was all so intense her body would release old trauma by vomiting.  She did this for the better part of a year.  Towards the end she felt as if she had nothing else to let go of, she was finished.  Amazingly enough at this point the tumor in her brain went away, and has not come back.  She was healed.

 

I very much wanted this healing.  I found the councilor she had worked with and told her that I wanted what my friend had found.  I dove in.  I also talked, screamed, hit, and released.  I discovered things about the way I viewed the world that were holding me back and let them go.  After a time I felt light and free but the sought after healing did not come.  I tried harder and found that things got better but were nowhere near where I wanted them to be.  For me the healing would not be directly found in letting go of old emotional wounds but this letting go would set a stage where other true healing could be found.

 

Emotional release and self discovery allowed me to view the world very differently.  I felt a lightness after letting go of old patterns.  It cleaned out mental and spiritual space for new and better things to come in.  This release was like a tilling of the soil for the crops to come.  A fertile field had been set for new things to grow and these new things would be where the sought after healing would come from.